Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
