We won't sleep together?
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
