she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
