One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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