I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
