is your mom at the bar?
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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