You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
You need a sexual gate keeper
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
