ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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