i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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