I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
