Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
