and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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