Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
