hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
