vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
