so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize