I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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