Me. At least after what I've been through.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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