I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
