careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
