I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Randomize
