i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I don't deserve a penis
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
