No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
