it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
