Tell her she can't have a vagina
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize