so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Houston, we have a squirter
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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