i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
