no, he came in my armpit
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize