come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
