I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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