So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
