He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
