No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
