Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
