Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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