The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
