Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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