So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
