so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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