called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
