Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Verdict: uncircumcised.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
