I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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