my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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