She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
