She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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