so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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