I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I think my vagina is haunted
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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