What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
