...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Less talking, more tequila
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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