yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Just pee around me
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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