is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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