what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
