Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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