my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize