Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize