I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
