That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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