): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize
