going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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