LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
nutella sex= disaster
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
porn star boner night. come get it.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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