just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
