Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
